"I don't know what you've been through, Jag. I know nothing about your life story. I just figure it can't have been picture-perfect since you're in foster care. There's always some kind of loss that comes before that, right?" --Taryn Alexander in A Safe Place to Land
The actual experience of being a foster kid isn't horrible for everyone. There are many truly loving foster parents out there who foster an environment of family and acceptance and healing. Whatever loss causing the child to need foster care doesn't go away, but they have a safe place to land.
Unfortunately, there are also many who use and abuse those who have already been used and abused . . . or neglected or left alone in the world through death. Being a foster kid in those conditions is sad and devastating and lonely.
If we're honest, most of us have probably felt like the lonely foster kid at times in our lives. Lots of things can cause us to feel misplaced, displaced, like a fish out of water: someone treats us unfairly; we suffer a devastating loss; we feel left out; we take a risk and fail; we relocate to where we know no one; we feel helpless to know what choice to make; the world beats up our ideals; someone betrays us . . . the list could go on for a long, long time.
I remember, growing up, I lived peacefully with most people most of the time. But, like all of us, I was acquainted with mean-spirited people. I wasn't often the brunt of their cruel comments, but occasionally I would get in someone's way and receive a cutting remark.
Cutting. Yes, an unkind word has the power to cut deeply, to hurt the spirit like the worst of flesh wounds, or worse. My sensitive soul would reel and feel unbalanced and unlovable by anyone for a time. All of that over one stupid insult.
As an adult, I understand that those people who thrive on trying to destroy anyone in their path are likely themselves feeling like a lonely foster kid, and they want everyone to join them in their misery.
There's a better way to handle things when we're feeling lost or lonely or unloved. Lashing out at people might feel good for a moment, but then the moment is gone and we're left more empty than before.
Instead we can remember what's true:
We always have a Father who loves us. He's never fickle or mean or drunk or high or dead. And His love for us doesn't depend on what we do or say. His love is never taken from us! If someone mistreats us or things don't go the way we wish they would, this doesn't mean we have less worth than someone who seems to have it made. We have great worth--always--because GOD says we do!
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23
His "system" doesn't lose people through the cracks. We may feel like He doesn't see us or doesn't care or doesn't love, but our feelings aren't Truth. God is Truth. His Word is Truth. We may not like what He allows, but that doesn't change the fact that He has us in His hand.
"My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me." Psalm 63:8
"For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.'” Isaiah 43:13
He goes the whole distance and adopts us! When we trust Jesus, and Jesus alone, for our eternal salvation, God adopts us now! And when He adopts us, there's nothing or no one who can separate us from His family.
"He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will," Ephesians 1:5
"See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him." 1 John 3:1
"I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand." John 10:28
Whether you're literally a foster kid or just feel like one sometimes, God is the forever Father, and He loves you perfectly and constantly. He wants you to be His child now and always!
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