Dear Mommas,
I know. You're tired. You want to be the best mom, but those failures keep accusing you of your imperfections. All of us mommas have been there . . . are there . . . will be there. Even this very moment my momma heart feels battered and bruised.
I have wonderful news, though! But, first, my disclaimer:
This is written by an imperfect mom. I am no expert. In fact, there are likely aspects of motherhood you could teach me. That's actually what it's all about--I want to encourage you in the ways the Lord leads me to, but I'd also love to learn from you! We could all learn from each other if we're willing to openly discuss. The comments section below or email are two ways we could accomplish that. :)
Also, this blog post assumes that the reader cares about being a good mom; about progressing in her effectiveness as a mother.
The good news is that, though you (or I) can't be a perfect mom, you are the RIGHT mother for your child(ren).
This is true for all types of mothers: biological, adoptive, foster, a mother about to sign away her parental rights or have them taken away. The truth is that right in this moment--no matter how successful or unsuccessful at motherhood you feel--God is sovereign. His sovereignty is written all over the pages of the Bible and throughout creation. Whoever is in your charge as you read this was meant to be there in this moment.
It's a huge responsibility, but God has equipped you. He is with you every second, inviting you to lean into Him and His wisdom and His strength.
My son has a will of steel. Plus he's a teenager. He has studied me over the years and knows how to push my buttons. Kids can sometimes be naturals at that, can't they? The encouraging thing is that he's also maturing (as are his parents!), and the battles are fewer and farther between.
I remember sitting outside Panera over lunch a few years ago with a wise friend. I was so emotionally and mentally weary as a mom. I confided in her that sometimes, because I love my son so very much, I wondered if he should have been given a better mom than me. More patient. More wise. More _____________ (whatever fits the moment). The thought was overwhelmingly sad to me.
She shared words with me then that shook me--in a good way--out of my doubts. She explained/reminded me that, because God is the one who knits families together, He has a plan to use even the parents' shortcomings and weaknesses to influence that child to become who He meant him/her to be. So, though I try to keep progressing in my parenting effectiveness, God knew long ago how He wanted to use my son for His glory, and that even my mistakes will help my son be able to relate with and influence the people God wants to reach through him.
The same goes for you, dear momma!
So, no, don't allow past failure to become an excuse to just give up trying, but also don't give in to the lie that you can't do it or that you're ruining your kids' lives or that they should have been given a better mom.
The truth is that all of us could be better moms. We'll never reach perfection. But we have a perfect God who loves us and will share His perfect wisdom with us if we ask in faith (James 1:5-8). And He will redeem the effects of our mistakes as He sees fit.
Grace is very real and far-reaching, but . . .
Hopefully this goes without saying (I'll say it anyway), but it is never okay to abuse and/or neglect a child. If that's where you're at, you need to get help. Now. Don't wait another second. Your mistakes are not unforgivable by God, but His grace doesn't absolve you of responsibility. For the sake of your child and yourself, get help now. Your choices affect the present and future generations.
The intricacies of motherhood are so tender in our hearts. The Lord has been nudging me to begin a series, of which this is the first post, for moms. Be on the lookout for more in the future!
If you would like to receive weekly encouragement pertaining to various aspects of life, be sure to join my reading family by letting me know below where to send it!
Choose joy,
Laurel
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