Mean Girls: What You May Not Know

Every girl knows some.  Most grown women know a mean-spirited woman or two as well.

If you've read the existing books in my Places series (the third and final book is on its way in a couple of months!), you've seen intimately into the life of Rio, a hateful girl who makes life as miserable as possible for anyone she deems worthy of her wrath.

But you also see details of her life that the other characters in the story can't see, and given her dreadful circumstances, you as the reader can eventually understand what fuels her fury.

Girl, when you're the brunt of a mean chick's taunts, the first thing I want you to do is to let an adult know about it if you feel physically threatened.  You need to take care of your safety first.

In the stillness of the night, though, when you're safe in your bed, but you still hear her vicious words trying to break down your spirit, remember the following two things:

First, you are loved and important and wonderful.  That's because God deems you so.  Nothing and no one can take that away from you.  What God declares cannot be changed with mere human words.  You need Him like everyone else does, but He already loves you, no matter who you are, what you've done, how you feel about yourself, or how others think of you.

Secondly, girls (or guys) who act like that most likely harbor deep pain in their hearts--or insecurity, which, let's face it, is another kind of painful wound.  Perhaps they are neglected; or abused; or over-indulged; or perhaps they are enduring something we would never guess.  Consider praying for them.  I know that may be difficult, but they need help, and God can work in their lives in much more powerful ways than anyone else can.

As an adult, I've learned not to let hateful people bother me much and to feel compassion for them as they deal with whatever haunts them.  I encountered meanness here and there when I was young, but I didn't know then that the likely reason those people were mean was because they were hurting.

Now I know, so I thought I'd let you know, too, lovely lady.

Looking back, I now realize that occasionally I was a mean girl myself.  Though I was mostly kind, I recall certain people I picked on for stupid reasons--maybe because "everyone else" did or to get laughs from other mean kids.  Insecurity, most likely.  My usual kindness did not make my occasional meanness okay.

So, if you're the mean girl, listen when I say that you're not earning anyone's true respect.  Scaring people, or cutting them down, is the coward's way.  But I understand your heart is hurting--maybe try another approach.  Seek healing rather than drowning your sorrows in the misery of others.

You're truly just as loved and just as important as the girls you threaten.  Someone is sending you a different message, but you need to focus on Truth.  God loves you, and that's what matters.  He wants to redeem whatever has happened to you that causes your anger to be always simmering under the surface, ready to explode.

He wants to make you whole, mean girl and victim alike.  And He's the only One who can do so.  Try talking to Him and see what happens!

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