When it happened, I was in second grade and walking home from my friend's house (yeah, back in my day it was a typical practice for young kids to walk to and from their friends' houses by themselves!). Suddenly, this boy, a third-grader (who seemed sooooo old and scary back then) jumped out of nowhere, grabbed me, and wrapped his leg around mine to trip me. I remember the green grass closing in on my face in slow motion until it blurred as my little glasses fell to meet it.
I. was. so. scared.
I didn't know what to do. I didn't know why he hated me or wanted to hurt me. I barely knew him. I found out later what his problem was and it was something ridiculous. But in that moment, I had no idea if he was going to beat me up, or what!
With some threatening words I don't now remember, he ran back into his house, and I took off toward home, crying and looking over my shoulder every few seconds.
To my childish, never-before-bullied mind, it was horrible.
That's the only time I can remember being physically bullied. In college I had some seemingly close calls with, well, let's just say . . . overly-friendly . . . guys while walking to work or riding in claustrophobic elevators in downtown Chicago. Scary! I guess that's a kind of bullying, too. No matter how old you are, it's not fun.
Several years back, a friend of my son was fed up and kind of mocking the platitudes he'd heard at school. He said to me, "I don't want to learn 'strategies to deal with it.' I just want it to end!"
I thought (and still think):
I'm sorry, child, that it's not likely to just end.
I'm sorry that too many kids are taught by their parents that they are the center of the universe.
I'm sorry that too many kids are bullied at home and choose to be bullies themselves to cope.
I'm sorry that God has been "removed" from your school in an attempt to attract your focus elsewhere. Don't forget, my dear, that no one can remove Him from your life, your experience, your heart. You can choose to focus on Him if you wish! He's the One who can ultimately help you.
How can I and others do our part to help you, dear one?
I'm no expert, but one thing I do know we can do:
Pray!
Pray for the victims and pray for the bullies. It may sound trite, but it's not. God can move mountains! He can do anything! He may have a purpose in allowing it to continue, or He may rescue immediately. But, whatever He decides to do, these kiddos need to be lifted up to Him by concerned Christ-followers.
It's easy to feel bad for the victim, but the bully is a victim, too. In some way, he/she is held captive by thoughts and ideas that are downright evil. These messages could be coming from anywhere--parents, movies, songs, video games, friends, etc. Kids don't have to look far to see (or hear) filthy lies. Even those who try not to will sometimes hear or see messages they shouldn't.
And they pay in some way.
We have little or no control over what other kids see/hear/do. But we can teach our own children to value others, to think of others before themselves, to guard their eyes and ears from all varieties of filth. We can spend lots of time with them and teach them how to put these things into practice. We can be vigilant in guarding their time, so that they are not stretched too thinly with activities, without enough time to be studying God's Word and learning important virtues.
And if you are a kid who sees another kid being bullied, please, at the very least, don't be part of the problem. Don't join in just to be cool. But, if you're the courageous, bold sort, who wants to make a difference, go further than that. Stick up for the kid! Get help! DO something!
Be a friend to the friendless--it's one of the most courageous and rewarding things you can do!
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